Forum Topic

Husband and wife jokes

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time."How wonderful! but i hope you don't mind me asking what happened to the first husband?""he ate poisonous mushrooms and died"."Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?""He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died"."Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband"."He died of a broken neck"."A broken neck"."He wouldn't eat the mushrooms"

Asha Smith ● 4679d4 Comments

Man comes home from work one day and finds his wife naked in the bedroom and going like the clappers with a chest expander'What the hell are you doing' he asks'I'm trying to increase the size of my bust!'she replies indignant'You can throw those things away for a start'he says'Just take a little tissue paper and rub it between them twice a day''That won't work!'she says'It did on your backside'he replied.

Keith Iddon ● 4678d

A 93 year old multi-millionaire is about to marry a 22 year old model.The soon to be husband's doctor warns him that vigorous sexual intercourse may prove fatal.His reply?  "If she dies, she dies".

James Goodden ● 4678d

Ha ha ha Asha! I like a good laugh. Thanks.Hymie is restless in bed one night and is worried.  He turns to his wife and says: "Becky, I'm worried, tell me when last did you enjoy having sex?"Becky thinks for a while and say: "Oh Hymie, stop worrying and go back to sleep."Hymie asks her again later: "Tell me, can you remember when last you enjoyed sex?"Becky grumpily replies: "Go back to sleep Hymie and stop worrying about my enjoying sex...besides, you weren't there anyway!"

Gerry Tan ● 4678d

There was a couple sleeping. The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: "I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you".Husband: "it is ok honey, it was just a dream".Wife respnded loudly: "That is why I'm crying".

Asha Smith ● 4679d