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I have a simple rule of thumb with my mobile phone that works well for me - if it comes up as a witheld or unknown number, I do not answer the call. My theory is, if it's important, they'll leave a voicemail and I can get back to them within a couple of minutes. If the caller's number is displayed, I hang the call up and immediately copy and past it into my Google App and 99/100 it is a PPI / loan / pension unlocking service. There is also this approach which I would like Nigel Brooks to try as I think this may tickle his wicked sense of humour:Tom Mabe: Hello?Telemarketer: Yes, Can I speak with Tom Mabe?Tom: Who’s calling? Tele: This is Mike . You have been selected to receive a preferential loan rate. With this you’re going to-Tom: Let me ask you something. Did you know Tom Mabe? Were you a friend of his? Tele: No, I’m not. I’m just calling to offer-Tom: Hold that thought, hold on a second (Hey guys, get really good pictures of the body, and dust everything down for prints.) Mike, you there?Mike: Yeah.Tom: Yeah, let me bring you up to speed. You’ve actually called a murder scene. Mr Mabe is no longer with us. I’m Detective Clarke. I’m conducting a murder investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions. First of all – what was the nature of the business you had with Tom Mabe?Mike: I…I had no business with him. I’m sorry to have bothered-Tom: No, hang on. I’m going to ask you to stay on the phone, this call has already been traced and we may need you to come in for further questioning. Mike: You don’t understand. I’m just calling – Tom: No, YOU don’t understand, unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice, it is imperative that you keep your ass on the phone, Mike.Mike: How about you just talk with my manager ? Tom: No, we will get to your sumanager ervisor in a second. First, give me your where-abouts.Mike: I am at work.Tom: You’re at work?Mike: Yes.Tom: You being a smart ass?Mike: No sir.Tom: Let me put it to you this way, Mike. Say I wanted to mail your ass a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of the envelope to ensure that the mailman would deliver it right to your ass? Geographically speaking Mike, where is work?Mike: 32 Avenue Estate, SouthamptonTom: Now hold on that’s –Mike: Yes sir. Tom: Hold on one second alright. (Get the Southampton Police , Murder Division on the phone, give them this information. Tell them that he is being sought in connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery.) How do you know Mr. Mabe again?Mike: Wait. You are calling the Southampton Police ?  I don’t even know the guy. Tom: No, don’t let that scare you, it is just a formality. Have you ever been to his place of residence? Mike: No!Tom: And tell me again, where were you last night between the hours of 8 and 10?Mike: I’m not feeling real comfortable by any of this.Tom: Have you even ever spoke with Mr. Mabe, Mike?Mike: No, I haven’t. I don’t even know the guy. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.Tom: Ok, great. Just calm down, hold on. Look, just back up. I’ve just got one more question for you, Mike. As you well know, I’m sure, Mr. Mabe was a flaming homosexual. And there is no easy way of asking this, I don’t want to embarrass you or nothing, but were you his gay lover?Mike: What? No! What the hell kind of question is that?Tom: Look, look. If gay is your way, that is OK. I still know there are a lot of you gay people in that closet. Not saying I haven’t thought about it myself, you know? Hop over to Brighton or something, buy a couple of drinks, cute little Mexican midget.Mike: This is ridiculous.Tom: Hello?

Bud Richards ● 4370d