Weekly Update From Councillor Guy Lambert

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Celebrates International Women's Day with a Bhangra performance

The man came to my daughter’s flat early, so I didn’t have to wait long. He had some high tech equipment to check the window gaps in the shape of a postcard, agreed there was a problem and has asked for urgent attention, especially as the flat next door was burgled via a window jemmy. If you want to break into my third floor flat via the windows you will need either to be Chris Bonington or Spiderman.

In the afternoon I soggied up to Boston Manor Park to meet Junction 2 people, a council officer and a certain Melvinator. Everything went well last year with virtually no complaints until the downpour came just as they were taking down, and everything ended up a muddy mess which took far too long to rectify. They have changed their plans for this year in various ways which should prevent a repeat. The fantastic Alice Botham who was their link person over the last couple of years has moved on to another employer but having met her -sort of – replacement and her boss, who actually owns the company, I am reassured.

In the evening, planning. Unusually, we followed the officers’ recommendations to approve in every case, though one was a close-run thing, 6-all and decided on a penalty shootout (actually the Chair’s casting vote though a bit of football would have been more fun). This was an extension to an old detached house in St Stephens conservation area in Hounslow. I didn’t object to the actual plans but I couldn’t bring myself to vote in favour of a scheme proposed by a landlord who has turned this lovely house into an HMO with a garden full of junk, an unauthorised crossover and a wall left knocked down for years. Of course he will now sin no more, he says.

I also voted against another one in Hounslow. It is a place where there’s flytipping completely unrelated to the planning application and I couldn’t stomach voting for it. I knew it was a futile gesture:

Why does Peter Cook keep cropping up in this blog? At least I didn’t have to lay down my life, unlike poor Perkins.

On Friday morning I was up at Rada café meeting a woman who is having trouble with school admissions. She is seriously Catholic and desperate to get her son into a Co-ed Catholic school as she has a daughter in the pipeline for secondary school in two years. Unfortunately she’s been turned down by the suitable school in Hounslow because she misses out on distance and the one in Ealing because she’s ineligible under their policy. We’ll work on it to see if we can find a way through.

In the afternoon I cycled out to Cranford Community College for a Trustees’ meeting of the Hounslow’s Promise charity, set up and chaired by Seema Malhotra MP. In a weak moment a while ago I agreed to be a trustee and in a weak moment on Friday I agreed to be treasurer. It has some serious backing, including financial, the goals are very laudable and we’re just about to start hiring so I’m happy to be involved.

Being that end of the borough, I thought I’d drop in on the celebration of International Women’s Day that was happening at Hounslow House. I assumed it would be a great bore and I would sneak out at the appropriate moment but it turned out to be a delight from start to finish. I was particularly taken with these beautiful women (wonder why?) related to Watermans Creative People and Places programme, who did a captivating and extremely polished Bhangra performance. [Note: the girl with the beard and the big necklace was not part of the performance].  


As a councillor I was forced to sit in the front row, which inevitably led to some victimisation when a bit of audience participation was required. A short (and fabulously acted) play about the first world war was performed by two talented schoolgirls. First of all I was given a white feather for not going off to fight. Then I obviously took a brave pill because the next thing I’m dragged onto the stage so my wounded arms can be bandaged.

Afterwards I repair with the Mayor (the poetry is just unstoppable) to the Honey Moon in Bell Road, most certainly my favourite Indian restaurant.

On Saturday I’m invited by one of the boat dwellers by Kew bridge to go and hear concerns they have about the controlled parking zone that’s just being introduced in the little stub road there. It’s a long time since the consultation took place so they’re not sure what’s happening and they find the notices that have been posted alarming. We discuss this and some other local issues, which I think have now been clarified, and discover that we were brought up about 5 miles from each other in the Wirral so discussion of local hostelries ensues. On the way there I briefly look in on the Brentford FC sports gig in Watermans Park. First time I’ve seen Crazy Football (like crazy golf) and the little Messi was unsuccessful on this occasion.

Out on the canvass on Sunday afternoon. Damp and miserable so we attempted to canvass the blocks of flats on Baltic Avenue, but couldn’t get in out of the rain. So we did the houses up and down Baltic and Layton Road. We were very happy to have our SW London GLA candidate with us, launching her campaign. She brought along Shonagh who is her god daughter. I always knew Candice was a good person but she has been better than a mother to Shonagh who I believe grew up in council care after her mother died and Shonagh gave a really moving speech singing Candice’s praises in what she has done for Shonagh and the wider community, going back way before she became a councillor. The other thing about Candice, apart from her caring nature and competence as a councillor (she is cabinet member for Adult care in Hounslow), is that she is such a positive, smiley presence and really lifts the mood of those around her, so we had a most enjoyable session, despite getting soggy.  

On Monday morning I decided to renew my acquaintance with Zumba as I felt the other Zumbatistas needed a little comedy in their life. On the way home I decided to go along the A4 to see how it’s looking (very much improved for cleanliness, as I had noticed going out to Cranford) but you’ve guessed it, there was a sudden horrible clank and Pegasus skidded to a halt. Mangled gears were embedded in the back wheel so there was nothing for it but to return to Chiswick, carrying the back end and wheeling the front, which was no joke. Arriving at Halfords I was told dismissively by the mechanic that the mechanic was on holiday. “OK can I borrow your pliers for a second so I can bend these gears away from snagging the back wheel”. “No, elf’n’safety” was said in a manner that was far too satisfied. Anyway, I had to lug the ruddy thing another half mile to ever-helpful Fudges who took it in for an overnight stay and some extremely expensive new bits.

I had been shopping and whilst most of what I had was in my rucksack, there was no room for the most precious item I had secured – a 4-pack of toilet roll. This had been strapped to the bike so I had to carry it home. The guy in the shop offered me a bag, which I initially refused but then I engaged brain. Would I walk around with £10000 in used fivers under my arm? No. Well, an exposed 4 pack of bogroll on Chiswick High Road and the 237 is just an open invitation to a mugger in these febrile times so I concealed them in an unmarked bag.

So the Melvinator was chuffed as he got a lift to the Brentford Community Council meeting that damp evening. We had a presentation from the developer who has bought the Post Office sorting office site. The scheme looked OK to me at first glance, though nobody’s very happy about losing the sorting office.

On Tuesday I had the ‘Network Board’ meeting with the honchos from Hounslow Highways and its parent company. Lengthy discussions about their performance (improving) and plans for the future. Afterwards I heard that Pegasus was fully recovered and ready to leave hospital and I had to get to Chiswick in something of a hurry before the shop shut. Public transport was marginal but google maps pointed out there was a Lime hire e-bike lurking at the back of Morrisons. I hadn’t taken one before but managed to sort out the app etc and set off for Chiswick. It felt very unstable and the brakes were poor, but it got me there reasonably quickly.

Then I had an hour to fill and I filled it by meeting a resident who had complained about lack of lights on the A4. Naturally we met on the A4 and examined the lights. I had thought that there weren’t many, but when you look closely there are plenty. It’s just that most of them don’t work. In the meantime I’ve established they are TfL responsibility and they have committed to send a team to sort them, which I reckon is quite a result, if it happens.

The rest of the evening was spent at the George IV at an event organised by the excellent Chiswick Calendar. This was in the company of Michael White who I used to read when he was the political sketch writer in the Grauniad (funny that my spell-checker accepts Grauniad without comment). He was pretty funny in a laid back sort of way and clearly views Boris Trumpson with a similar level of esteem as I do (I award Trumpson the same level of esteem as Trumpson awards the truth).

Today, Wednesday has been meeting free until the evening, when we had a Labour branch meeting down at Isleworth Public Hall.

Busy socialising tomorrow so doing this Wednesday night.

I’ll be litter-picking on Sunday morning at 10am, meet in the car park behind the Beehive pub on the corner of Half Acre and the High Street. Intensive training, gloves and litter pickers including pint-sized versions will be provided. Get in training for the Great British Spring Clean which starts on March 20th.

Cllr Guy Lambert

March 12, 2020